Cry it out? Or not...

I went to Liza’s four-month check up last month and her pediatrician asked me how she was sleeping. First of all I thought maybe this was a trick question.  I said she sleeps well during the day (I think we have conquered the crib naps!) but her nighttime sleep is still quite broken. I get a good long stretch when I first put her down from maybe 6:30-12 but then it can be every 2 to 3 hour wake ups. And the pediatrician looked at me and said, “ you know she’s capable of sleeping through the night right now. My advice to you is turn your monitor down and your ears off and let her figure it out.” I said, “Really? Just let her cry?” She said “Yes, she really doesn’t need to breastfeed in the middle of the night anymore.” And so I left that appointment with the feeling that somehow I had been doing it all wrong. I guess I shouldn’t be tending to her every need and that I should let her cry more and figure things out and maybe that’s how we’d all get a lot more sleep. I talked it over with John and decided that we should probably try it. I needed to just toughen up and realize that she’s in a safe place, her needs are met, and after all its just noise right?

And then I really thought about it. She’s FOUR months old. FOUR. Not eight or ten months, FOUR. And I said to myself, this is insane. I’m not ready for it. I can’t just let her lay in a crib screaming when I know that if I go in and breastfeed her, she settles immediately and goes right back to sleep. And what does the pediatrician really care if I’m up every two hours during the night or not? She isn’t the one who has to deal with it. It was like a switch went off and I realized that although she was trying to be helpful she wasn’t the one to decide. I’m the mom-- I’m the one. And I get to decide what works and what doesn’t; and right now, although I’m exhausted and craving an empty bed and endless hours of sleep I am not willing to go through the cry it out method to get there just yet. Maybe in a few months I will be ready, or maybe I’ll never be ready. I’ve realized that I have to do what feels right. For now, it’s going in to tend to my baby’s needs and not get upset about it but to enjoy those night time snuggles and realize that this too, will pass.

I am in no way judging the moms who do the cry it out method. I think you need to do what feels right to you. If you commit to it, I do believe it will work. Stay the course and follow your gut. It won’t lead you astray. 

Be well, 

LEW