Be Big

I'm almost through reading Glennon Doyle Melton's #1 New York Times BestSeller, Love Warrior.  Glennon Doyle Melton is an extraordinary woman.  (Please click on her name to read about her and her non-profit organization Together Rising - a non-profit that has raised over four million dollars for vulnerable women and children.)

Love Warrior is a memoir and an offering of her life's experiences with the intention to inspire and empower every individual to face life with openness, honesty, and love.  To show up to your own life. 

Early on in this book I read something that quite literally felt as if I had an elephant sit on my chest and then all of a sudden hop off and allow me to inhale a breath that made my lungs feel as big as an elephant.  Glennon spoke of her daughter that said to her one evening, "I'm big, Mama.  I'm bigger than the other girls.  Why am I different?  I want to be small again."  She explained that her daughter was not asking about how to deal with her body size but instead..."How will I survive being this particular type of person in this particular type of world?  How will I stay small like the world wants me to?  And if I keep growing, how will anyone love me?" 

Glennon writes on: "My daughter and I pay attention.  We know what the world wants from us.  We know we must decide whether to stay small, and quiet, and uncomplicated or allow ourselves to grow as big, loud, and complex as we were made to be.  Every girl must decide whether to be true to herself or true to the world.  Every girl must decide whether to settle for adoration or fight for love.  There on the bed, in her pigtails and pain, my daughter was me--the little girl I was once was, the woman I am now, still struggling to answer the questions: How can I be expansive and free and still be loved?  Am I going to be a lady or am I going to be fully human?  Do I trust the unfolding and continue to grow, or do I shut all of this down so I fit?"

This is Glennon's story and hers only.  Nonetheless, she was able to put into words a feeling that many of us can relate to in our own authentic way.  At 5'10" I am by no means that tall.  Becky is 5'11" and Lauren is almost 6'2".  Nonetheless, I grew up a dancer and by a dancer's standards, I was an oaf.  I did not fit in.  I did not fit in as a "woman" either.  I was skinny and lacking any curves.  And so, I wished to be small so that I could fit in and be desired.  I eventually let go of wanting to be small and embraced my stature.  Being tall made me feel strong.  And feeling physically strong helped me to become mentally strong.  However, being tall, intelligent, outspoken, somewhat attractive, and a woman...well, I might as well plan on never being loved and only called a bitch. 

During my morning walk/run, I was chatting with my Aunt about this book and these comments.  I vented saying, "Men have it easy.  They can be tall, strong, outspoken, successful, intelligent, attractive, and financially responsible and get the utmost adoration and respect."  This Aunt happens to be 4'11".  She simply said, "Good things come in small packages, Marisa."  WORD.  This tiny Aunt of mine is the most noticed in a room.  She is confident, outspoken, happy, independent and does NOT apology for any of it.  I think she is happy because does not feel the need to be small or big.  She just IS. 

Be big.  Be small.  Be who YOU are.  But never hide who your are.  I have a daughter that reminds me that I cannot hide.  Because if I do, she will hide too.  I will encourage her to be herself and to be fully human and not "just a lady".  Everyone else is already taken.

Be well, 

MLC