It takes a village.

As I was perusing facebook today I stumbled on an article that was published on GOOP.com entitled ‘Postnatal Depletion’. It addresses the intense fatigue, brain fog and guilt many mothers can feel in the postpartum period right up through the first decade of your child’s life! Imagine…it’s not just a myth. It’s real, ladies. And the main contributor to this depletion is that women feel alone and that all the focus goes to the baby after the baby is born. Moms are usually second or last in the pecking order to receive any good rest, nutrition or TLC. That is one reason Marisa wanted to start this website.  As outlined in our mission statement: it takes a village. We are not alone. But unfortunately it often feels that way. Why are we so reluctant to reach out, be vulnerable and ask for help? Many of us feel it’s admitting defeat if we say, “I can’t do this, I’m stressed, and I need help.” But honestly, after my first daughter was born 3 years ago, that’s when I felt the most heard by my own husband. I was crying and overtired and feeling very overwhelmed. My daughter was probably 6 weeks old at the time. I was trying my hardest to maintain a clean house, stock the cabinets with food, feed my husband and myself while also trying to fit in a daily shower--mind you this did NOT always happen.  But as I cried to him I finally admitted, “I’m struggling. I can’t do it all”. And you know what? He had NO idea. He thought I was just sailing along without any issues. It’s because so many of us have that feeling that we need to be supermom/super wife.  And so we wear the brave face, don the cape and say,  “I’m good. I’ve got this”. 

Well, I’m five weeks away from delivery now and I vow to reach out this time and ask for help when I need it. I’m not going to be a hero. I’m going to be real and true to myself and admit when I am feeling fried, in need of a nap or just can’t make the dinner that night. I’m going to call on girlfriends and ask them to stop in so I have some adult company. I’m going to ask that when my friends come visit, they turn a blind eye to the mess that surrounds them and focus on my beautiful new baby and me. I don’t think people usually come visit moms and babies expecting a clean house; however, I always felt the need to keep up appearances for my visitors. Well, not this time. This time I’m taking a lesson from my daughter Summer’s favorite song and mantra and am going to “LET IT GO”! Because, after all, we promote the baby’s rest and nutrition like nobody’s business, but who’s saying to us “Go lay down. Take a break. EAT.  I’ve got the baby”?  If it’s not being offered, seek it out. Voice your needs. Don’t feel alone and don’t let yourself feel depleted. Motherhood is fulfilling in so many ways. Let’s fill each other up. Let’s reach out, lend a hand, make a meal and pass NO judgment.  After all, we are all just doing the best we can.