Feeding choices

Here I sit pumping….and dumping. Yes, you read that right. Dumping. It sucks. I have recently had to start on an antibiotic that I was not happy about Liza getting any of. So I made the decision to stop breastfeeding for this week and possibly for the foreseeable future. I am so torn though. We have all heard the phrase “breast is best”. And it is true. There is nothing that compares to the way our body makes milk that is specifically tailored to our babies' needs at whatever gestation they are born. Breast milk truly is liquid gold. And right now all my gold is being poured down a sink. It is heartbreaking. But yet I know this is what is best for my baby right now. Exposing her to potential harmful side effects of a medicine that does not need to be in her little system would not be fair. And so here I am.

While I am doing this I am giving Liza formula. She takes a bottle from us all so well and she is happy and healthy. I am in no means promoting formula over breast milk; but,I take heart in the fact that she is surviving this transition. I want all you moms out there to know that any way we choose to feed our baby is going to be ok. If you end up not being able to breastfeed or you try it and it's not successful, that is okay. Do not beat yourself up. Your baby will get her needs met. And for all you mothers to be out there, breastfeeding truly is a wonderful experience. Sure there are tough times and it is not always easy but the bond you get providing the sole source of nutrition for your baby through the first months of her life is unreal. It is so special.

But as a nurse, I have been at the bedside with many patients who have tried valiantly to make breastfeeding work and have not been able to. Whatever the circumstances may be, there are certain situations that make breastfeeding difficult and women feel guilt and sadness when it doesn't work out. There are also people like me that breastfed successfully but then encountered their own health issues or some other reasons that have forced them to stop. No matter when, it is difficult to make the decision to quit. It doesn't matter if it has been two days or two years. I have seen the heartache it brings and I guess what I'm doing here is reassuring myself while I also reassure every other woman out there who chooses to formula feed their baby. I just want every mom to feel loved and supported and not judged because of the way they have chosen to feed their baby. We are all in this together only trying to do what is best for our children at the time. And even now while I feed Liza bottles of formula she reaches up and touches my face just like she did when she breast fed and I feel reassured that she knows I am her mom and I am doing the best I can. She loves me because I am giving her my love and my all. That is all any baby really needs.