Actions louder than words
/"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say".
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was in middle school, I was walking home from the bus stop with my younger sister when a boy yelled out a derogatory comment about about the size of my butt. When I got home, I put on my sneakers and went outside for a run. I've been committed to exercise ever since.
I don't remember being a fat child, but I was very tall and towered over everyone in my class, including the boys. People often called me "big", which in my mind meant "fat". I was occasionally teased about my size, but one day in particular a teacher at my school told me that he saw me jumping rope. He then told me that I did a good job, "for a little fat girl". His words were embarrassing and hurtful. It's been almost 30 yrs. since that day, yet I still remember it. Those hurtful words and others have affected me and the way I've felt about myself practically my entire life. Perhaps I have educated myself about health and fitness because of those early childhood experiences, and for that I am grateful because I am able to share that knowledge with you. Hopefully, we can learn to instill positivity and a feeling of self worth in our children.
My message today is to all mothers. Please be careful about the comments you make to your children regarding their bodies and more importantly, be careful about the things you say about your own bodies.
"50% of teenage girls and 30% of teenage boys use unhealthy weight control behaviors such as skipping meals, fasting, smoking cigarettes, vomiting, and taking laxatives to control their weight" [1].
This statistic disturbs me and my goal is to offer some advice on how you can teach and educate your children to not only be healthy, but feel confident about themselves and their bodies.
First, never, EVER, call a child too fat or too skinny. These words do not define your child and labeling them or calling them names will not do any good, nor will it change them. Be kind and respectful. If you want to help them become healthier, make a decision that the entire family become healthier instead of singling them out. We can ALL eat better and take better care of ourselves.
Second, focus on health instead of appearances. Explain that It's important to eat well in order to run fast and play without getting tired, have more energy, and avoid getting diseases caused by an unhealthy diet. Educate your children about eating fruits and vegetables and how it helps you become healthier and strong. Focusing on appearances will only encourage children to set unrealistic goals about body size and can damage their self esteem.
Third, be active as a family. Go hiking or ride bikes together. Walk to the pool or park instead of drive a car. Jump rope, play hop scotch, set up an obstacle course in the yard, dance in your living room. Being active doesn't mean your child has to exercise on the treadmill or be involved with a sport. Being active means MOVING! Set limits on tv watching and video game playing, then go out and have fun!
Finally, your children see and hear everything you say and do. If YOU are critical of your body and are always on a diet, or if YOU are constantly comparing yourself to others, they will too. Be kind to yourself, and teach your children through your example how they can achieve good health that will last a lifetime. Remember the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson. "What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say"! Be the best example you can be to your family and be well!
Be Well,
BHW
- Neumark Sztainer, D. (2005). I’m, Like, SO Fat! New York: The Guilford Press. pp. 5.